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Romanian Kitsch Museum

Yes.... Finally. I missed writing about my artistic experiences. It is time to write about the Romanian Kitsch Museum. Probably the best shooting (in terms of fun). Also the first one when I tested my Fujifilm XT-4, which has proven to be a treasure. Another treasure was miss Ana. Another treasure was Adrian. :) Let's continue.

The Romanian Kitsch Museum is pretty easy to miss even for those who have been circling around the Old Centre of Bucharest everyday. It is on a small street (I already forgot the name!) near a bar of rockers... Yeah. Take that, savages, culture. Or ... it used to be. A small, beautiful door was leading us inside. We had the privilege to go in there on a beautiful afternoon, around lunch time. We did not even know where to start, so we went upstairs (duh...).

After watching miss Ana undress I asked her to try one of the Romanian tables. You know, we used to have top quality furniture, extremely heavy, the ones that last for years, the ones that creek and make creepy noises sooner or later. The ones that take up so much space the guys at Ikea would get panic attacks. The Sun was gently laying its rays on the missus' body. But then we found something to really get the "pitzipoanca" out of her... a bed with Dinamo Bucharest's football team symbols on the bed sheets. Yep... When it comes to football / soccer Romanians are as fucked up in the head as anyone else. They identify themselves with the team when they win. Otherwise they start talking about the players in the third person, like they don't even care about them. So yeah, go Dinamo! Look at the colors...

Already turned on? Just like we turned on the TV set. A TV set which was running one of the cartoons of my childhood, Dexter's Laboratory. How could we forget about that dorky nerdy dwarf. Dexter reminds me of the guys from the Polytechnic University of Bucharest: self-absorbed, obsessed with control and always a fucking virgin. Just like the members of USR.

You think we missed the chance to shoot on the couch?

As children, many of us (including the intellectuals) were still attracted to FIFA games... The one I miss the most is FIFA 2002. Because once the ball reached a player, you could double-tap the D key and it would do a scissor kick... stunning. Unfortunately on latest Windows versions I was unable to run it. It would always crash after launching the game. Luckily, this museum has a computer able to run FIFA 99... What else can you ask for? It also has Mario game on a Terminator console. I broke my Philips TV by playing on it. The source has completely burnt... As for a picture, here is miss Ana playing FIFA 99.

Many interesting stuff to do on the upper floor of this museum. But we had enough fun. It was time for us to go down. Directly to the section which had sunflowers seeds and some Romanian old dolls. You do not know what a pitipoanca is? It is the Romanian version of the Barbie doll. Self-entitled, snob, arrogant, putting too much emphasis on her looks. It is like Karen. Which means it is dumb. I felt bad for asking miss to play one. But she was such a fantastic actress she had no problem playing one. If you do not chew sunflower seeds you do not exist...

We also visited a traditional Romanian bed with the famous "The kidnapping from Serai" carpet on a wall... and a desk full of money, besides which we had a TV set running old, communist, brainwashing TV shows dedicated to Nicolae Ceausescu, the Romanian dictator, where children were supposed to pay homage to him in every possible way... Also, a turntable.

We have also been in the toilet. These guys have great toilets, you could do all sorts of things in them . Golden showers would surely feel amazing, but what about a mirror which says "Dancila's Throne"? (Viorica Dancila: dumb Romanian politician who cannot even speak her own language...)

How about same neon lights? (I recommend this while listening to Kraftwerk - Neon Lights)

How about sleeping on the fucking toilet while waiting for hot water to be available in Bucharest? When will all of us have hot water, Nicusor Dan? WHEN?

Obviously, what would be the Romanian kitsch without BOR? (Orthodox Romanian Church). These rich bastards have been brainwashing our people for ages now. And this museum has anything you could imagine in terms of accessories, priests clothing and so on. I do not want to spoil everything.

The Romanian Kitsch Museum has proven itself to be an amazing experience... I did not process too many images and I do not want to post more here because I do not want to spoil the experience for people who want to visit it. However, you can still watch part 1 of the video project below:

The museum has everything you need to learn about Romania... from the Militia (communist Romanian dumb policemen) to Ceausescu. From football teams to TV shows. From village experience to religious kitsch. Even pacanele (lottery game, pinball-style). And also, Dan Diaconescu from OTV. I am grateful to them for allowing us to shoot here. Also, thank you, Ana. :D...

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